Deadly Darlings (October Darlings Book 2) Page 10

  So much for sleeping.

  When I open my eyes to watch him, he speaks again. “I feel like I’ve been trying to run from myself for years. From my whole family, really, as soon as I started understanding the birds. It was worse when I shifted the first time... but after a while, I understood.”

  Silence pulls at the tension between us, tugging at the frayed edges of my heartstrings.

  “What did you understand?” I ask him begrudgingly.

  “That I might belong to the dark, but that doesn’t mean I have to see myself as a monster from some kids book. I’m the magic that saves them from the nightmares, and as lonely as it can be... I’d rather be the way I am than push it onto someone else. Someone always has to be the hero. Why not me?” His voice is quiet, his demeanor hesitant, and like those instances where I’ve seen him blush, I know the casual flirting manner he uses is just a mask. This is the real Tomas.

  “As much as I’m glad that helps you,” I respond, “the problem is, I don’t want to be the hero. Saving myself is no problem— it’s instinct and if I mess up, it’s just on me. But when the people I care about get stuck in the crosshairs...” I trail off, remembering the look of defeat on Ellis’ face last year even when he claimed he was certain I could fix things. I remember Sabrina seeking refuge in a graveyard because I couldn’t contain reckless energy. And my dad...

  The worst part of being a clairvoyant, by far, is that I literally watched my father slip away and couldn’t stop it. I saw his life form glowing in a gleam that lit up just seconds before his last breaths. And moment by moment, it faded and twisted into violet, until he was still, and his spirit was lost to me. I could literally see death coming on, but it didn’t matter. Death haunts and taunts me and gives me no rest.

  Ramona steps back into the room, high-heeled boots clicking as she strides down the hall and muffling when she meets the carpet.

  “I see you’ve come around to the same conclusion I did,” she sighs. Waiting patiently for me to struggle into a sitting position, she stands to the side, painkillers, and a glass of water in hand. “I’m glad to know you’re as awesome as I thought you were, but I’m sorry about the shitty way life works out.”

  “Yes,” Tomas frowns, “let’s all play doom and gloom and resign ourselves to lives of misery!” His sarcastic edge strikes a change in his handsome features, making them harsher and threatening. “Addie,” he says, his tone and expression softening, “you don’t want that life. We’ll figure this out. Just don’t let Ramona string you along.”

  He glares at his sister, who takes back my empty glass, raises her chin and sniffs. “I don’t have a clue why you think I’m the devil. I like Addie, and I’m going to do everything I can to make her feel welcome.”

  “That’s what I was afraid of,” he groans. Burrowing his face in his hands, he digs his fingers into the front of his hair until little tufts poke out between his knuckles, waving like feathers.

  I blink and draw my legs up to my chest. I really need to stop analyzing him.

  “What’s wrong with making me feel welcome?”

  Before he can answer, Ramona puts her hand out to me to help me up. “Because he thinks I get everyone in trouble all the time,” she rolls her eyes, “and he knows if you’re moving out of your dorm it’s going to mean one thing.”

  I furrow my eyebrows and hold myself away from her inviting arms. Their little spies may have seen plenty, but I haven’t even told Sabrina my intentions. How could she know?

  “You’re going to need a place to stay,” she continues blithely. “Thankfully, we have an extra room here. We’ll get you set up in no time.”

  As it turns out, Ramona had done a better job than just checking on Sabrina and getting kicked out. She also managed to snag my laundry hamper, which she took the liberty of washing the contents of while I slept. Which is why I’m now wrapped up in a towel and staring hesitantly at the rounded bathtub in their confusingly large bathroom. For a three-bedroom duplex and the general clutter and condition of their furniture, I can’t help but wonder who pays the bills.

  I’m stalling. The bottom of my feet sting against the cold tile, and the bathmat beside the tub is the color of blood. Not what I want to see before attempting to submerge myself in water.

  What I’m feeling is irrational, I know it is. But my chest is tight and it's hard to breathe, and I’m terrified the lavender scented bubbles are going to turn into something worse than larvae.

  Skimming a hand hesitantly over the surface, I brush bubbles to the side, peering into the water dubiously. Nothing. It’s clear and normal. Everything is, except for me and the strange abilities of the siblings I left arguing down the hall.

  Gritting my teeth, I squeeze my eyes shut and step in.

  The only thing my struggles have taught me is that no matter how difficult they are, they're still coming, so you better brace yourself. My problem right now is I don't know who to brace myself against.

  Do I trust the twins and their uncanny knowledge? Can I really move in with Ramona?

  And harder than that... Can I really push away my best friend and break up with my boyfriend? I love them. I love him. And I’ve never even said it out loud.

  No maggots accompany my bath, but the salt from my tears and the blood from my feet do. By the time I get out, I’m not refreshed, but rather brittle and ready to crack. Still, it’s not like I’m a porcelain doll that can hide up on a shelf. I’m one of the monsters Tomas described. Because I might try to protect people physically, but I have no choice but to rip their hearts out.

  “HOW DO YOU WANT TO do this?” Ramona asks.

  I’m seated at the paper strewn card table, a square foot cleared just enough for me to set down the plate and coffee Tomas handed me. I’m wearing the thickest socks out of the clothes Ramona had grabbed, but I still have to sit with my toes tilted to avoid resting my soles completely on the floor. My hair is blissfully maggot free and pulled into a tight braid to keep the residual water off my neck, and the sweater I’m wrapped up in feels strange on my arms.

  “We can go with you to help you pack up, but that might make things awkward. We wouldn’t want them to think you're replacing them. Unless it’s easier that way?” She shrugs and pops a strawberry into her mouth, watching me closely.

  “No, I don’t want that,” I snap.

  “Of course, you don’t. You aren’t a cold-hearted fiend,” Tomas retorts, directing an insult at his sister.

  “No,” I roll my eyes, “I’m just a bitch to be around,” I remind him. “Uhm, no. I’ll wait until Monday, when they’re in class. It will be easier that way.”

  Resting my head on the backs of my hands, I lean on my elbows and stare across the room to the crooked pictures hung on the walls. Ramona and Tomas, at different ages, show off tooth gapped grins and awful haircuts, progressing until their graduation photos nearly match their current selves. Interspersed are more people that must be their family, and my eyes burn as I consider how mine raced to my side last night.

  Frank is curled in a ball beside my plate, blinking up at me mournfully.

  Yeah, I know, I wish I could tell him. I’m a mess.

  I force myself to nibble at the bacon on my plate and finish the coffee, and then I clear my throat to ask Ramona for some shoes I can borrow.

  “Flat ones, if you have any,” I add.

  “Where are you going?” Tomas frowns, a forkful of eggs halfway to his mouth.

  I shake my head and press a smile on my face. “I just need to take a walk.”

  So, I do.

  I limp all the way to the cemetery halfway between The Creepy Siblings house and Blackwood College. I can’t believe I ran five blocks last night, in the dark, barefoot.

  The sloping, grey earth greets me with the scent of soil in crisp air, and my blood tingles at my cheekbones as the wind nips at my face. Above me, scarlet leaves dance about their baring branches, and the soft creak of tree trunks swaying side to side puts me at ease. Rows of ma
rkers and memorial benches take up the ground, and here and there flowers decorate the graves. There are more lilies and marigolds than anything else, death flowers. Despite their sad purposes, they’re stunning and fragrant, and I reconsider my own self.

  What do I have to offer?

  I ignore the CLOSED sign and let myself in through the heavy metal gate, twisting the rounded pendant at my neck as I walk. Frank is steadfastly holding onto my wrist, and whatever beastie is stalking the campus, it can’t get me here. Graveyards are my favorite places, and nothing can touch me so long as I’m in one. I used to think it was just the plants at Nix House that made our cemetery safe, but no. I think it has to do with the lingering souls, but then again, what do I know?

  A familiar purple jacket is curved over a gravesite. Gold tassel earrings dance in the breeze, and the glowing face of my best friend is entranced in the grave rubbing she's making.

  “I thought I’d find you here.” I announce myself cautiously, not wanting to ruin Sabrina’s work.

  Her dark hands cease in one quick movement, and she eyes me with hurt curiosity. Her expression sends a shard of pain through my gut, it’s so like Ellis’ reaction last night.

  Dropping my weight onto a marbled bench, I grip the sides of the seat and run my fingertips across the worn, stone edge. It glitters in the sunlight and the deep engravings of the name beneath me is jet black.

  “Do you know like, how completely frantic I was last night? And with no explanation, I find a random girl barging into our room and announcing she needs some of your clothes! As if that wasn’t weird at all.” She stands and stomps over to me. “Now spill. I want to know why our dorm almost caught on fire and why you never came home.”

  Drawing a deep breath, I weigh my options. Settled in a space I feel safe... having her be so adamant about the truth... and the simple fact that I don’t want to let go makes it an easy decision.

  “Apparently, ghosts have a thing for following me specifically. Uhm, I guess I just give off a vibe that says I’m perfect for haunting.” I smile wanly, attempting to make light of last night, but Sabrina narrows her eyes behind her gold framed glasses.

  So much for breaking the tension with a joke.

  Sighing, I motion for her to sit next to me. “Okay. The spirit in the courtyard isn’t as under control as I’ve been acting like it is, and I’ve been working with Tomas to figure it out. That girl was Ramona, his sister.”

  Sabrina wrinkles her nose and sneers, “the rude chick that totally knocked you over and kept walking? Addie! Not a good friend choice!”

  “She’s not really a friend!” I argue. “It’s more like, uhm, like an ally thing. They can sense spirits the way I can, and the campus ghost is... nasty. Really nasty.” Not that I’ll allow myself to panic her by saying the words serial killer, but her look of apprehension makes it clear I should probably move on to another subject. “Anyway, she was trying to help.”

  “Help with what, though? Girl, you still haven’t answered me. What the hell went on last night?” Her jaw is sticking out in impatience, and her gaze is uncomfortably scrutinizing.

  How do I keep her safe and in the know?

  I pick at the skin around my nails and brush my tongue against the swollen inside of my lip before mulling on a strong enough answer. “The ghost followed me into the dorm, and the candle was for protection. Kind of how I banished that demon last year? Only this thing’s pretty stuck to me. I went to Ramona’s because even if I led it there, they— she, she could at least protect herself.”

  Sabrina frowns, either at my words, or my quick slip up. My face is burning, and my mouth tastes like blood. There’s no way I want either her or Ellis— oh god, especially not Ellis— to find out I stayed at Ramona’s when Tomas was there. Or the fact that I borrowed his bed because their spare room didn’t have any sheets on the bed when they found me passing out on their porch.

  “Okay,” Sabrina says slowly. “But then what’s the plan? Are you saying that wherever you go, a ghost might attack? Like, how are you supposed to go to class?”

  “Honestly?” I shrug. “I’m more worried about where I’m going to sleep. Spirits are more apt to approach people when they’re alone, and especially when they’re vulnerable. I can handle myself,” I lie. “But I’m worried about putting you and Ellis in the middle of it.”

  “Well then, I guess I can bunk with Eden until you figure it out?” Sabrina offers, sending a pang of guilt through my gut.

  “Oh, uhm, Sabrina no.”

  “No, it’s totally okay. She was just telling me last night she needs a roommate because the rental rates around here are like, super expensive.” She waves flippantly, and I set a hand on her knee to stop her from continuing to reassure me.

  “Sabrina, no.” I meet her bright eyes with a heavy heart and a tired gaze. “You’re paying for the dorm already. Besides, Ramona offered to let me stay with her, so Eden can just stay there for free.”

  “What?” Sabrina protests. “I thought we didn’t like Ramona? And you hate Tomas!”

  “I don’t hate him.” I blush. “I just find him hard to deal with. But, whatever, ghosts are even more difficult. I’ll take human drama over a ghastly haunting any day.”

  Sabrina sets her mouth in a thin line, brushes hair away from her face and pragmatically adjusts her glasses. For once, I catch a glimpse of the serious person she is in her classes, instead of the impulsive friend who drags me to too crowded parties and spends her time breaking and entering closed cemeteries. Which, I guess for the record, I’m doing right now with her, even though the gate wasn’t exactly padlocked.

  “Okay. You want to isolate again. Alright fine, I’m not even going to fight about it because it better be freaking temporary! But what about your boyfriend? You do realize that y’all are already being weird, right? Like this just screams bad idea to me.”

  My stomach flips over, and I have to swallow at the lump in my throat. Nodding, I acknowledge her judgment and try to ignore the whining voice at the back of my head warning me she’s right.

  “Yeah, no, I get it. But it’s either be happy and put y’all in danger or take a quick break to sort this crap out. Besides, like you said, it’s only temporary.”

  Chapter Nine

  ELLIS SITS ACROSS FROM me in one of the miniscule dining hall booths. The clatter of trays and echo of chattering voices bounce through my head, distracting me from the nervous monologue I've been practicing silently for the last twenty minutes. My heart is going so fast, my chest is aching, and no matter how many times I wipe my hands on my jeans, I can’t get my palms to stay dry.

  Picking at his salad, Ellis rolls a tomato to the side and prods at half a boiled egg. “You’d think the healthy food would look more appetizing than this.”

  He’s got a point. I’d honestly be scared of risking listeria eating the prepackaged salad, but besides the slight frown on his face, Ellis seems determined to finish it.

  “So, I wanted to talk to you about something,” I force myself to say. My tongue is trying to stick to the top of my mouth, and my hands are shaking beneath the table.

  “Yeah?” He raises his eyebrows and glances up. His piercing gleams as he moves, shining in the fluorescent light that’s killing my eyes. Running a hand through his tangled, sandy brown hair, and stares at me expectantly.

  I still can’t speak.

  “Addie? Babe?” He prompts me, an expression of consternation crossing his face.

  I groan behind my closed mouth, resisting the urge to bury my face in my hands, and wishing I could just melt into a puddle. Anything to avoid this conversation.

  “You’re going to be mad,” I grumble. Pressing the heel of my palms against my eyes, I whimper again.

  “Hey, what’s going on now?” Ellis asks, putting a hand on my arm. His voice is soft, but I can hear the alarm floating just beneath his inflections.

  Taking a deep breath, I look straight at him and remind myself why I’m doing this. To protect him. To
save him. I can do this.

  “I need to move off campus,” I say quickly. “I’ve already found a roommate.” Well, two, if I count Tomas, who I’m starting to suspect doesn’t actually have a dorm at all. Which under no circumstances am I going to mention to Ellis. “I’ll still be on campus for school, of course, but I, uhm. We need, uhm, we need to, we need,” I stammer, a chill sliding down my body. “we need to take a break.”

  Ellis jerks back faster than if I’d physically hurt him, and pain surfaces in his honey-colored eyes. His chest rises and falls in quick repetition, and he opens and closes his mouth several times as he gapes at me, betrayal and confusion clear across his face.

  “I’m sorry,” I choke out. My throat is tight, and my eyes are burning. “It’s stupid ghost stuff. I just need to keep you safe!”

  It’s so hard to breathe. How can I even be saying these things?

  “I, I don’t understand,” he stutters. “We were fine. You were fine. I’m just working a little bit. I couldn’t have missed that much about the ghost problem!”

  I cringe, knowing how I’ve purposely kept him out of the loop.

  “I thought we weren’t going to do this anymore?” He accuses me. “We were sticking together. You promised me that. We were sticking together!"

  I shut my eyes and let the hot tears roll down my cheeks and off my jawline. “I know,” I mumble, “and I’m sorry. I have to though, we have to. Because I love you Ellis, I do, I love you. I can’t let you be around me and end up getting hurt."

  The tears are coming faster and as I open my eyes, it’s difficult to see through the blurred mess they leave behind. Still, I have enough clarity to see Ellis’ demeanor change completely.

  He straightens and his face grows cold. In a sharp, nearly unrecognizable voice, he retorts, “if you really loved me, you wouldn’t be pulling this crap again.”

  I flinch, curling my hands into fist and biting my already sore lip when my fingernails dig into my palms.